Dear Facilities Management,

I'm sorry to trouble you with this, but the notice on the back of the toilet door directs me to you if I have any issues with the sanitary facilities and as you read on you'll see why I didn't want to do it on the phone, working in a largely male environment.

I'm really struggling with the new sanitary bins in the ladies' toilets. They look very smart, but they're not very practical and quite frankly I'm fed up with having to sit on one every time I need a wee. I'm the first to admit that I'm not the slimmest woman in the building, but they're so big that I can't use the toilet now without the top of my leg touching the sanitary bin - which I personally find not only uncomfortable but also extremely distasteful. I also have to juggle with my skirt/dress to stop it draping over the top of the bin while I'm using the toilet which is a major issue especially at the time of the month that you would actually need to be using the bin.

Apart from the discomfort, I am concerned about the hygiene aspect of having to keep touching the bins with my bare skin and clothes - surely the whole point of changing the perfectly adequate bins we had previously for these new fancy bins with a pedal was to eliminate the need to touch the bin itself - yet by choosing such an enormous bin, you have now made skin contact mandatory for all users of the ladies' toilets. I've had to resort to bringing in a bottle of skin sanitiser and rubbing it onto my thigh after I have used the facilities which I'm sure you will agree is an absolutely absurd thing to have to do on a daily basis.

Is there any way that these bins could be swapped for something smaller - or maybe relocated outside of the cubicles? After all, we're all women, we all know what they're needed for so why should it matter if they're inside or outside, so long as they're still within the ladies' loos?

Sincerely hoping for a less stressful toilet experience soon,

Kind regards / Saygılarımla / Grüße....

Oh, How Some Are Missed

Out of the twenty five people in my department, three suddenly left last week.  What could have prompted this mass exodus?  Did they all get a better offer?  Was it a direct result of a change of supervisor and senior management… or more worryingly was it the fact that I came back into the department? 

One of the escapees is being missed though.  He was one of the few people who made it worth coming to work - with his funny face and cheerful disposition (and yes, you know who you are and I know you're reading this).  I miss my daily un-diverse, sexist and politically incorrect joke.  Who will I confide my work-day misery to now he is gone?  Things haven't been the same this week, but it could be argued that that's mainly because I now have to buy my own tea from the coffee shop!

Fortuitously, the departure of our former colleagues has coincided with a minor headcount reduction task, so those of us left feel a little more secure in our positions.  Who knows how long this will last though.  Our organisation chart now fits on one A5 sheet of paper.  If we carry on at this rate, we won't even need a sheet of paper. 

Hollywood Bound?

The network has been down on and off at work today, rendering it impossible for me to actually achieve anything as my job function is primarily web-based.  This has allowed me the luxury of being able to write a quick blog entry during working hours, although I won't be able to post until the network is back up and fully functioning so as you read, this could be days old…

YD has been very much in demand for auditions of late and has secured a part in an advert being filmed this week.  We've all been very excited by this development as the client is a very (and I mean very) high profile company.  The costume she's been given for the shoot is absolutely dreadful and I don't even want to think about what they'll do to her hair, but the money she is earning is extortionate for the hours she is allowed to work, so I'm not complaining, as it all goes into her university fund.  However, when the contract finally came through yesterday, I was more a little gutted to note that the advert is not being aired in the UK, only in North America, so unless someone puts a copy on YouTube, we won't get to see it.   I suppose on the plus-side, some eagle eyed talent scout could 'spot' her and we could all be whisked away from our boring, hum-drum lives to the glamorous world of Hollywood….

Yeah, OK, dream on!

Printing and Ears

At work, there are alarmingly few printers for the volume of people needing to print.  This means that quite often, the single page you want to print is held in a queue and a lot of time is wasted hanging around printer areas waiting for these enormous machines to spit out decorated paper.

Whilst wasting time waiting for my pretty pictures to come out of the machine this morning, I noticed that a gentleman near the front of the printer queue had remarkably hairy ears.  The hairs were not just sprouting from inside the ear, but also completely covered the outside of his ears, both cartilage and lobe. 

I was completely spellbound by this chap's ears and could hardly stop myself staring.  Some hairs looked course and bristly while other hairs looked softer and more downy.  Some were dark and others fair, but all were seemingly without pattern.  I observed these strange, furry ears for as long as was polite… well, until he collected his printing and walked away. 

I was so fascinated that I have spent the remainder of the morning surreptitiously ogling the ears of every man that comes close enough for me to see.  I have noticed that cases of such extremely hairy ears, whilst relatively unusual are not that rare.  In fact, there is a man in my department with just such ears, although his fur is more even in colour and texture than the chap's was at the printer this morning.   

The strangest thing is that the hair on their heads is shorter than the hair on their ears.  Surely their respective barbers must have offered to trim them up as part of their 'short back and sides'?  Furthermore, both of the men I have mentioned are married and I have to ask myself why their wives have not noticed their condition and done something to remedy it.  It would drive me bonkers.

I spend a lot of time in meetings and I shall make every effort to sit in a different place and next to a different person each time so that I can investigate this phenomenon further.  And I plan to check DH's ears carefully this evening, tweezers in hand, for the slightest sign of sprouting…